So, there I was, having my 18th nap for the day when my ears picked up the old familiar sound of a lid being peeled off a can. Dinner time!

Before I was even awake, I was in the kitchen heading to my dish at mach 2 when I hit the brakes.

What the Hell is this? If this stuff even remotely looked like food, there wasn’t enough of it to draw any kind of definite conclusion. I looked up to the Big Hairless Ape just to see him with a look on his face suggesting he’d just did me the biggest favour in the world. Looking to his hand, I saw the food tin: “Fancy Feast – Tuna & Liver”

Lets analyze that label for a moment:

• Fancy: Not really! I’ve buried better looking stuff in my litter box!
• Feast: Yeah, right! I could have eaten 5 of those cans!
• Tuna: I love tuna! I actually have no problem with this.
• Liver: This is likely the source of the foul smell, and the reason why the Tuna no longer tasted quite like Tuna.

Who the Hell came up with this flavour combination? It certainly wasn’t a Cat, that’s for damned sure! No Cat would desecrate the pure fishy flavour of Tuna with the foul taint of Liver.

After a few minutes , it became clear this was all the food I was going to get. Even the dish containing the crunchy stuff was empty. So, I held my nose and dug in.

By the way, do you have any idea how hard it is to hold your nose when all you have at the end of your paws are sharpened claws? My face is a bloody mess! I’m sure it will heal, but I have to eat my way through 11 more cans of this crap.

Oh no… Maybe this is the Fancy part! BRB

{Gorgeous jumps from the desk chair, then heads to the litter box. He returns shortly after and spends 5 minutes licking his butt.}

Funny, that tasted better than dinner! Smelt better too! Oops, forgot something…

{Gorgeous jumps from the chair and heads to the master bedroom. Slowly, he creeps toward the head of the Big Hairless Ape and proceeds to lick his lips until pushed away by a flailing arm. Satisfied, he returns to the desk}

Ha! The Big Haired Wife is always complaining about morning breath. Wait till she gets a load of that!

Anyway, the Ape’s offspring, The Wet One, should be waking up soon. I can’t let the Apes know I use their computer. I best be off…