Since giving up Catnip, I’ve been having trouble maintaining my schedule. It’s a hard life trying to keep this web site fresh while keeping up to my 18 naps per day. Without my 18 naps, I barely have the energy for my main snooze!

This morning, the Apes left a cup of coffee on the counter. I decided to investigate why the Apes love this liquid so much. So I tried it. All I can say is, "Wow! This stuff rocks!"

Within minutes, I felt a rush making it’s way throughout my body. I now have energy to spare! I just spent the last half hour running around the house and I am not even tired.

So far, I’ve:

• Climbed the drapes 5 times
• Played "skid to a stop" on the kitchen floor 25 times
• Chased the neighbours dog under the bed
• Climbed and knocked over the Christmas Tree (the dog will get blamed for that)
• Taught myself how to do cart-wheels
• Tap danced on the telephone (I may have ordered a pizza, but I’m not sure)

There’s only one side effect so far. My litter box is a swamp! This stuff makes you piss like a race horse. Oh, and my typing skills seem to have improved. I’m now typing about 1500 words a minute!

Now, if I could just teach myself to smoke, I’ll definitely have an Ape-like morning ritual going on. What the Hell, the second hand smoke is killing me anyway!