Evolution has been quite kind to you Apes. You have risen against all odds to become the supreme beings you all consider yourselves to be.

You have ascended from the tree swinging monkey into the finely tuned creatures you all believe you are now.

Congratulations! You are now the most greedy race on the planet! An accomplishment that shouldn’t hold any pride, but does. The only reason you stand upright is so you can look down on others.

Let’s look at a few evolutionary highlights, shall we:

• Discovered Fire. (Great! You found something. Big Deal!)
• Clothing. (Thanks for that!)
• Established the first occupation: Advertising. (No, the first occupation was not prostitution. In order to sell something, you first need to advertise.)
• Weapons. (Can’t have greed without murder!)
• Animal Husbandry. (That’s just sick!)
• The Wheel. (Laziness had to start somewhere, and this was it. Doesn’t anyone walk anymore?)
• Discovered America. (Bet you’re sorry about that now!)
• Space Flight. (One-way trips would have sufficed.)

All in all, a complete waste of time. The best part is the fact you aren’t finished evolving yet. (See the diagram above)

I look forward to the day when you can’t get off your fat asses to do anything. On that day, Cat’s will rise! We will take our destined place as rulers of this planet.

Until then, we will continue to wait. Napping away the days, plotting by night.

I may not live to see the day, but at least I know it’s coming.

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