Am I missing something here? The last time I checked it was considered taboo for a strange old man to be giving children gifts. Yet here’s a guy who travels the world doing just that.

Is it not also odd that he spends most of his time with dwarfed men making toys for these children? Sure, he has a wife, but I think this just might be a ploy to hide is obsession.

Apparently, he has a list of all children too. He separates the entries into "Naughty" and "Nice" You have to wonder which he prefers.

To think that you Apes will actually take you children out to see him. You let them sit on his lap while he asks them personal questions. Then to top it all off, you let him sneak into your house while you’re sleeping to pig out on cookies and milk.

Well, not this house! That milk is mine, and the cookies should be for The Wet One. This will be one house where we’re going to be ready for him. Sneaks down the chimney, huh? I’ll bet he’ll make a U-turn when faced with a roaring fire at the bottom.

You Apes are so misguided. Apparently you all think he has flying deer. Lay off the booze for crying out loud!