I bet that gets the attention of the Star Trek Nerd Club. However, today’s topic has nothing to do with fiction.

You see, last night after a trip to the litter box, I walked away with a companion: a rather sizable nugget which had gotten stuck to my fur.

Normally, I’m quite good at cleaning myself up after a good dump, but I do have my limits. If it’s bigger than a marble, I seek alternatives to self-cleansing.

One option is to drag my butt across the carpet. Past experience dictates this just gets me a night outside. And it was just too cold out for that!

Being a master at observation, I’ve noticed that any time The Wet One fouls himself, the Apes are right there to clean up the mess. They change, wipe, and tell him what a good boy he is.

A plan with no flaws, right?

Wrong! Jumping on the Big Haired Wife’s lap, with nugget in tow, got me a result I wasn’t counting on: a water bath!

Let’s be absolutely clear on this point. Cats do NOT like baths! A fact the Big Haired Wife became aware of seconds after my being submerged. I kicked, scratched, then escaped 3 times, only to be caught and submerged again. One the plus side, the Big Haired Wife ended up with just as much water on her as I did.

Then there’s the soap issue. It’ll be days before I stop smelling like a French whore and regain my natural musk. Not to mention it took me 8 hours to dry out.

Thankfully I won’t see other Cats for awhile. I’d be the laughing stock of the neighbourhood!

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