Operation: Eat The Goldfish went off without a hitch. ScapeGoat performed admirably, and in the end got the blame. I love it when a plan executes to the letter.

In case you missed it, ScapeGoat is a "dog" (or a mutant variation) which was a gift to this family. Apparently, we do not re-gift which is a real shame. 

I guess now that the fish is gone and the blame placed, I can let you in on my brilliant plan:

1. Knock Goldfish bowl onto kitchen floor. Smash! (Hey, I wasn’t getting blamed for it, so why be dainty?)
2. Consumed Goldfish from floor, but left tail fins and spine as evidence.
3. Put dog biscuits amongst the Goldfish remains.
4. Starve ScapeGoat. Keep him out of the kitchen and don’t let him eat all day. (Need the hunger factor for this to work)
5. Just as keys are heard in the door, let ScapeGoat pass. He’ll head for the biscuits.
6. Hit the couch and pretend to be sleeping. (Pretend? Gee, there’s a stretch!)

I couldn’t have timed it better! The Big Haired Wife entered at just the right moment; to see the last of her goldfish being wolfed down by ScapeGoat. Meanwhile, I lay on the couch, belly full and purr in my throat. Blame-free.

There was one aspect of all this which kind of pissed me off. Even though ScapeGoat got blamed, he didn’t get punished. Me? I would have been chased around the house until a swift boot sent me outside. What did he get? A playful, "Bad Puppy" while getting kissed on the forehead. Sickening!

Sickening, perhaps. Useful? Most definitely! I see a ton of potential here.

All in all, a good test run. I’m going to spend the rest of the night drinking lots of water and peeing in every corner I can find. What the Hell! With a puppy in the house, it’s pretty much a freebie.