Yeah, right! Bite me!

The day started off fairly good. I had a huge pile of torn wrapping paper to play in for a while. Then, just as I was at the peak of having fun, the Apes cleaned up and threw my playground away.

ScapeGoat and The Wet One got showered in gifts and attention for most of the morning. I guess the uglier you are, the more attention you deserve. This explains why I was pretty much left alone.

I did get one gift. A rubber mouse. A gift I sniffed twice and ignored. You Apes may enjoy your inflatable or rubber companions, but Cats prefer something with a little more life in it. All in all, a real disappointment.

So I just made plans to sleep on the couch for the day. But could the Apes even let me do that? No!

Along comes the gathering of Ape-In-Laws to our home for the big feast. I couldn’t have squeezed myself amongst the fat asses which collided on the couch if I tried. The arrival of the Big Giant Aunt accounted for 50% of the available couch space. She made a point of letting me know she didn’t like Cats. So I stuck very close to her.

I could only watch the burping, farting, and general picking of orifices for so long. I lost my mind when the Grampa Ape picked his nose, then petted me to rid himself of the acquired nostril nugget. I swatted his hand and drew blood to show my disapproval.

Weather report for yesterday: Bloody cold! I ended up being tossed outside after my retaliation. I wasn’t alone either. Seems every Cat in the neighbourhood suffered the same fate with similar stories.

Apparently this whole day is about the birth of a specific Ape. An Ape they killed later on. There is little doubt as to why. This day sucks!