Why would you even try to intrude on the perfection which is us? You Apes just don’t know when to quit. Cats are perfect as is. Do you really think you can improve upon this?

Pictured here is a cat which has been genetically modified to glow in the dark. What good is this? Cats depend on their stealth to hunt, and here you go and take that away by making us glow in the dark. You might as well put a neon sign on our ass saying, "Danger to mice. Run like Hell!"

Another story I came across is a modified Cat which is hypoallergenic. I pride myself on the fact I can bring down a 6-foot Ape by my mere presence. Watching them bent over and wheezing for breath makes my day every time!

Also, a Cat which never grows up? Yes, that’s being worked on as we speak. Genetically modified to stay "kitten size" for it’s entire life. This would just create a race of Cats which would get their asses kicked by your average rodent.

Mice aren’t free from this tampering either. Although, I can see advantages in some of these experiments. One strain of altered mice have no fear of Cats. No, they aren’t brave mice, just stupid; not knowing there is a danger factor when confronted by a Cat.

This is my favourite: Schizophrenic mice. Genetically altered to have personality problems. I think I actually came across one of these once:

"That Cat’s going to eat me."
"No it isn’t"
"Yes it is"
"No it isn’t"
"Yes it is"

Newsflash: I did! While it was sitting there muttering to itself, I gulped it down.

It’s amazing that you Apes will stop at nothing when it comes to tampering with the Animal Kingdom. Yet, when someone says they are going to experiment on other Apes, you freak out calling it immoral and blasphemous.

I say, "Hack away!" The only thing you could possibly do to an Ape is improve upon it. Create an Ape which doesn’t fart, pick, or flick!