There isn’t too much in this house that scares the crap out of me, but when the Big Haired Wife gets the out the vacuum of death to do some cleaning, I get somewhat freaked out.

Apparently my fur is the reason she has to do this activity everyday. Can I help it if I shed constantly? Each square inch of my body contains millions of hairs so I’m bound to lose just a few here and there.

At least mine grow back which is more than can be said about the Big Hairless Ape. He continues to lose hair with no hope of new ones sprouting to replace them. He does seem to have an abundance in his nose and ears, however. He should look into transplanting those to his head.

Today I got cornered while the big metal beast whined it’s way through the house.  There was no escape! I tried going to the left, then to the right. It’s seemed I was being hunted by this thing!

There was only one direction to go: up! I climbed the drapes to get away. To my surprise, this caused the Big Haired Wife to shut the machine off. Success!

Well, success for the moment. I found myself being swatted at by a broom shortly after while screams of disapproval spewed from the Big Haired Wife. Apparently saving my own ass wasn’t an acceptable activity.

After a few moments of being chased around the house, I took refuge next to ScapeGoat. It was a gamble which worked. She would never hit her prized pooch with a broom. No! That special love was reserved for me.

Long story short: We got new drapes today and it was also very cold outside.