Since the arrival of the Big Haired Wife, each Sunday sees the arrival of new food into the house. Food which is clearly marked as: “not mine!” (The nerve!)

For the last couple years I’ve been kicked at, shooed, or otherwise discouraged from investigating. Today, however, provided an opportunity to go hunting.

Upon arrival and the deposit of many bags into the kitchen, the Big Haired Wife became preoccupied with The Wet One who had apparently soiled himself on the trip home.

Yup! My ears picked up “Knock, Knock” - the distinctive sound of opportunity!

I knew I only had precious moments before the Big Haired Wife returned. So, armed with my keen sense of smell, I went hunting. I’d investigated three bags before finding what I was looking for. The sweet smell of cooked ham rose from the fourth bag.

With face in bag, and butt in the air, I retrieved the paper-wrapped parcel and pulled it onto the floor. Using my sharpened claws, (thanks to the Lazy Boy in the living room) I tore into the package and pulled 2 rather large slices out and stashed them under the couch for later consumption. I’m not a dog, so I don’t need to eat them right away.

Speaking of dog, time to put ScapeGoat to work. Waking him up, I nudged at him until he was right in front of the opened package. “Go ahead!” I said to him. “It’s all yours.”

He must be getting the hang of “Cat speak” because he tore right into the meal.

Quietly, I headed to the living room and took my innocent “I’m sleeping” posture on the couch and waiting for the fireworks to start. For the first time since the arrival of this rodent, I wasn’t disappointed. He actually got smacked for getting into the groceries. I was purring so loudly with satisfaction I damned near deafened myself.

All in all, a great day. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a ham dinner to eat.

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