Last night the Apes rented: “Garfield: The Movie”

I don’t normally get caught up in Ape Entertainment, but I must say that this is one cool Cat! I enjoyed everything from the food switching to the pummelling of Ode.

I do have a few problems with the movie, however.

First off, what the Hell is up with his eyes? What kind of weird designer Hollywood catnip has this guy been into? There’s way to much white in his eyes and he appears to have Ape-like pupils. I doubt he’d be able to see in the dark very well with those things.

Second, he loves lasagne? No wonder he eats so much of this stuff as it has very little meat content. You would have to eat the entire thing to get the protein requirements a Cat needs. Try some actual Cat food, you fat spoiled bastard! Catch a mouse for crying out loud!

Third, I found out the real reason why he’s so fat. At one point in the movie, Garfield goes through the pet door and we get a good shot of his butt. He has NO ANUS!! How will he ever make friends if he gets locked up in the pound? Since surgery of the posterior region always seems to be Ape-inflicted, I’m assuming this is some kind of solution to due away with the need for a litter box. If you’re looking for a fat Cat, then sewing up his anus would definitely do the trick!

I simply couldn’t live without the enjoyment of scratching around in my litter box. Stinking up the house is one of my favourite pastimes.

I guess I shouldn’t complain about losing “My Boys” at the v-e-t. Apparently, it could have been a lot worse.