Apparently “Operation: Kill The Vacuum” has induced a rather nasty side effect: The purchase of an intelligent vacuum robot named Roomba. 

This thing does not even need any Ape interaction. It sees a mess and cleans it up on its own.

This is all in good, but the damn thing sees Cat hair as a mess, and where is the biggest source of Cat hair in this house? Yup! You guessed it: Me!

This thing has done nothing but follow me around; stalking my every move on the off chance that a hair might fall off my body. Sure, it’s programmed not to hit walls and other obstacles, but apparently Cats are not considered obstacles. I’ve been run over 4 times now. I have several bald spots where it considered “deep cleaning” was required.

In fact, the damned thing is sitting beside the desk chair whining in anticipation as I type this.

{… Gorgeous tests the waters; plucking a hair and dropping it in front of the Roomba. Roomba leaps into action! Spinning and sucking until the hair is gone…then waits for more…}

Fine! Let’s see how it works on a substance with a little more texture…

{… Gorgeous hangs his butt off the side of the chair and drops a large turd in front of Roomba. Roomba, being the good little robot it is, mounts the nugget then spits and spatters to a halt…lights go out…}

I thought so! Wimp!

I’m sure the Apes will clean it out tonight, but in the meantime I finally have a peaceful day ahead of me. If I wasn’t behind on my naps because of this thing, I’d hunt for the remote control for it and have some fun. Maybe tomorrow…