Day 1297: ACME
I’ve been watching these promotional programs for the ACME company and find their product line to be very interesting.
You can get everything from giant magnets, to disintegration pistols and dynamite. They appear to be geared toward the non-Ape user as I have seen many demonstrations of use.
Their spokesman, Wile E. Coyote – Genius, shows how you can lay traps and use most of the items available through the ACME company. Although a genius, he’s somewhat clumsy and quite often will get himself slammed into the side of a mountain or blown to bits. (If Cats have 9 lives, coyotes must have hundreds!)
So, I Emailed him:
Dear Wile E.
I’ve thoroughly enjoyed your demonstrations for products available from the ACME company. Although I’ve seen most of your infomercial presentations, I am yet to see an address or Website for this company.
You would think a big company like that would advertise more.
If you could assist me in making contact, it would be appreciated. I am very interested in some of their products.
Thanks in advance,
GorgeousPS: I hope you get that road runner soon! That’s gone on for just too long now.
No response! I’m guessing if he doesn’t like rabbits (as I saw in one demo) then he’s likely not too keen on Cats either.
Oh well. I’ll have to get the parts for my Ape Mind Controller somewhere else. No big deal.
I know what you’re thinking. How can a Cat blog? You think just because we don’t have vocal cords or opposable thumbs that we aren’t intelligent? 
G’day!
Mom says the Acme address is 1313 Mockingbird Lane. But! Be aware now, that is also the address of the house where The Munsters live!
So be vewy, vewy quwiet when you go there! Sounds dangerous to me.
The Munsters? Like I’m afraid of some surgically-hacked-up flat-headed Ape.
However, I’ll take your advice and stay away.
Any idea if they have a distributor for the ACME line of products? I need a Flux Capacitor (yes, like the one in the movie “Back To The Future”). Without this vital component, I very much doubt that the Ape Mind Controller will work.
Any help would be appreciated.
You might want to be a bit careful about using Acme products. Judging from the coyote’s perennial problems, Acme has major quality control problems. Explosives, especially, never seem to go off when planned.
Well, explosives are not a problem. I have ScapeGoat The Dog for any explosives handling that might be required. (Fetch the stick, boy!)
Also, while a Genius, Wile E Coyote is a clumsy oaf. He simply put the rush of hunger before common sense, causing him to mishandle a lot of the ACME products.
Not to mention is faith in that tiny little umbrella he used anytime an avalanche of rocks was about to hit him. Genius, perhaps. Misguided fool, definitely!