The Apes have completely flipped their lids! They expect me to use a toilet instead of a litter box. Toilets are for Apes, not Cats!

The contraption you see pictured here sits on a toilet and contains a small amount of litter which is supposed to “trick” me into using it. First off, there isn’t enough litter there to make a sufficient mess while burying my business. Second, there’s not enough room on the toilet to get a good round of litter flinging going once I’m done.

I’ve hunted all over this house and can’t find my actual litter box anywhere. Also, they forgot to put the toilet trainer on the toilet before they left for work. I tried using the toilet without it, but I’ve fell in three times now. There is just no traction there!

{… Gorgeous gets off the desk chair, paces the room for several minutes while doing some deep breathing…}

I really have to go too! Perhaps some of you out there can help me out. Here is a list of alternative dumping areas:

• The pot of dirt which houses a small tree in the corner
• ScapeGoat The Dog’s food dish
• On the “welcome” mat just inside the front door
• In a boot (or several boots)
• On the table (nothin’ says lovin’ like crap from my oven!)
• In the Big Hairless Ape’s headphones

Leave a comment and let me know where you think the best place is. But please, hurry!