Well, after the theft the other day, the Apes have taken steps to prevent such a thing from occurring again. They have installed a home security system which seems to do nothing but go off at 1am, 3am, and 5am.

All it does is go, “Whoop whoop whoop” when it figures someone is entering illegally.

Where is the moat? The electric fence charged with 2000 volts? The trapdoor above a pool of man-eating sharks? The swinging razor-sharp blade? The flesh-ripping laser? The automated machine guns?

The only thing this thing does is announce to the whole house when I scratch at the window at 1am, 3am, and 5am.