Some silly Ape asks:

• “I noticed in a couple of your posts, you refer to some kind of ‘cat revolution’ which is about to take place.
  Can you give me more information on this please? It’s important!“

{… The author of the question arrives home and exits his car. Suddenly, a black SUV speeds up then squeals to a stop within inches of hitting him.

50 Cats wearing dark glasses jump out and force the Ape into the back of the vehicle, which then speeds off…}

‘Nuff said…

As you may (or may not) have noticed, it’s been a few days since I’ve had a chance to do any updates here.

The Ape family all came down with the flu and it has been impossible to get any computer time. For the last several days they’ve been puking regularly which made it really difficult for me to get anything done.

But that was only part of the problem…

You see, there’s something about a feverish Ape which draws me to them like a magnet. I simply couldn’t get enough of their elevated body heat. The Apes think I was just being comforting, but truth be told, their 102 temperature matches my body heat exactly. This makes for optimal snuggling.

A little tip for all you Cats out there: Never try to play “trip the Ape” when they are running to the bathroom during illness. Seems they just kick you out of the way in a frenzy to make it to the toilet on time. (Which they failed to do on a couple of occasions!)

Anyway, even though they are still not feeling well, they have gone to work today. Things should be getting back to normal around here.

And to think they got me my shots and neglected to get themselves one. Serves them right!

Simply tattoo it to an Ape Beer Belly…

Since 2 people sent this to me by email, I thought I would post it.

Credit is shown across the belt line. (Can’t quite make it out)

What can I say? I passed a mirror the other day and took a look at myself. I was mesmerized for days. I am so Gorgeous! (Hence the name!)

If there is one thing a Cat appreciates, it’s his or her own beauty.

From the handsomely pointed ears to the flowing soft fur which covers our bodies, you simply cannot deny the fact that we are the most beautiful creatures on the planet.

The longer I looked, the more beautiful I became.

And the Apes think we are confused; believing there is another Cat in the mirror. No, we are just admiring ourselves. Simple as that.

I can’t think of a better way to spend a couple days!

I hate Chili night! After the Apes get a big feed of this stuff, the place starts sounding like a popcorn machine. It certainly doesn’t have that fresh popped smell either.

So there I was, sitting on the Big Hairless Ape’s lap when I heard the first one. It sort of had that “Thu-wap!” sound. The smell that followed shortly after was enough for me to vacate the lap before my petting quota was finished. 

To complete my petting quota, I took refuge with the Big Haired Wife. That only lasted a few minutes before I heard a muffled, “Pffffft!” She obviously thought nobody heard it as she just continued to pet me and watch TV like nothing had happened. My enhanced sense of hearing and smell sure picked it up!

Choking my way off her lap, I made my way to The Wet One’s room. I stopped at the door upon realizing that the child had done more than just pass gas. It was like walking into a wall of stench.

There was just no escaping it! They even fed some of this stuff to ScapeGoat The Dog who was now sputtering around the house.

My poor over-sensitive nose. It’ll be days before things smell right again.