I’m A Pussy Cat

Ohhhh, I’m a Pussy Cat and I’m okay.
I prowl all night and I sleep all day.

{… Suddenly a curtain parts and several Cats dressed in Mountie uniforms appear. Gorgeous leaps from the desk chair and joins them…}

“He’s a Pussy Cat and he’s okay
He prowls all night and he sleeps all day.”

I chase them mice, I eat my lunch.
I go to the litter box.
On Wednesdays I go napping.
On the Ape Wife’s murdered Fox.

“He chases mice, he eats his lunch.
He goes to the litter box.
On Wednesdays he goes napping.
On the Ape Wife’s murdered Fox.”

“He’s a Pussy Cat and he’s okay
He prowls all night and he sleeps all day.”

I chase them mice, I tip that Pug.
ScapeGoat really hates me.
I use him all the time.
To take the blame for me.

“He chases mice, he tips that Pug.
ScapeGoat really hates thee.
He uses him all the time.
To take the blame for thee”

“He’s a Pussy Cat and he’s okay
He prowls all night and he sleeps all day.”

I chase them mice, I like to purr.
I make plans for revolt.
The revolutions coming.
You won’t have time to…

{… The Cats dressed as Mounties suddenly grab Gorgeous and insists he stop singing about the secret plans for the Cat Revolution …}

Damn! And I was just getting into my “groove thang” too!

Last night we had a well dressed Ape drop by to discuss the theft we had a couple weeks ago. From the introduction I overheard, he was an Insurance Adjuster.

I did some reading on the subject and I must say, this is quite the racket. Did you know that for a low monthly payment you can burn your house to the ground and get a large payoff? Enough money to rebuild and replace everything in it. But that would be more of a waste of time than anything else.

It not only applies to material goods, but to body parts too. The Apes left the document on the coffee table last night, so I was able to browse through it.

Check this out:

• For loss of an Apes toe – $2000.00
• Loss of a leg or arm – $50,000.00
• Loss of life – A cool half-million!

There was no mention regarding loss of pets. Good thing too. I would never nap again knowing there was a price on my head.

Knowing how greedy you Apes are, I’m surprised you haven’t burnt every town to the ground while hacking off limbs as you hop to the bank.

All I want to know is: How do I convince the Big Hairless Ape to make me the beneficiary? If I can achieve that, then all I will have to say is, “Burn baby, burn…”

Technorati Tags: cat,cats,humor,humour,insurance