Last night we had a well dressed Ape drop by to discuss the theft we had a couple weeks ago. From the introduction I overheard, he was an Insurance Adjuster.

I did some reading on the subject and I must say, this is quite the racket. Did you know that for a low monthly payment you can burn your house to the ground and get a large payoff? Enough money to rebuild and replace everything in it. But that would be more of a waste of time than anything else.

It not only applies to material goods, but to body parts too. The Apes left the document on the coffee table last night, so I was able to browse through it.

Check this out:

• For loss of an Apes toe - $2000.00
• Loss of a leg or arm - $50,000.00
• Loss of life - A cool half-million!

There was no mention regarding loss of pets. Good thing too. I would never nap again knowing there was a price on my head.

Knowing how greedy you Apes are, I’m surprised you haven’t burnt every town to the ground while hacking off limbs as you hop to the bank.

All I want to know is: How do I convince the Big Hairless Ape to make me the beneficiary? If I can achieve that, then all I will have to say is, “Burn baby, burn…”

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