Imagine for a moment if Cats were allowed to run for Office. I am, of course, not talking about just any cat, but Me!

The first thing to go (and would cut government costs at the same time) would be Air-Force One. No Cat in its right mind would ever willingly step onto a plane. I’ve done my fair share of flying… from the end of a boot through windows and doors, mind you, but still it’s not a whole lot of fun!

But what issues would I have? Where would I make things better?

• Tuna would be absolutely FREE!
• Minimum litter depth will be 6 inches. (Going to need it if Tuna is free!)
• Cat Nip will be sold only by the pound… no more of these wimpy ounce baggies from the pet stores.
• Sofas will be known only as scratching posts.
• Apes will catch their own damned mice!
• 18 naps per day - mandatory!
• Apes will sleep on the floor and Cats will get the beds. It’s time to put an end to this argument once and for all!
• No more Mouse Traps! (That piece of cheese was hardly worth the effort!)

{… Gorgeous takes a moment to nurse his swollen paw …}

• Dogs will be ordered to bury themselves in the back yard.
• Cats will not be dunked in water just to see how funny they look when wet. (Really! I mean it! It’s not funny!! Stop it!!)
• Send all troops on a wild goose chase while the Cat Revolution takes over.

Apparently, I’m not the best at keeping secrets. Perhaps government office isn’t the best place for a blabbermouth like me.

Oh well, it was fun to think about for a while.