What? You think Apes have a monopoly on this kind of physical competition? Not so!

Unlike Apes, we Cats hold this event each year. We do not need to train constantly for four solid years. Hell, we can wake up out of a dead nap and still place in the finals.

Since I’m the only Cat in the neighbourhood with a web site, it has fallen to me to report and judge the outcome of these events.

Here are the results:

• Litter Toss – Fling as much sand and nuggets out of the litter box as you can in less than 10 seconds.
1. Gold – Rusty the Tabby. Emptied the entire contents in 7.312 seconds.
2. Silver – Patches the Calico. Emptied 83% of the box in 10 seconds.
3. Bronze – Fat Cat. Took a dump and fell asleep.
• Territory Marking – Mark as much territory (by spraying) as you can in 30 seconds.
1. Gold – Patches the Calico. Marked 4.3m^2 by the Johnson’s duplex. (What a stink!)
2. Silver – Rusty the Tabby. Marked 3.8m^2 in front of my house. (Bastard!)
3. Bronze – Fat Cat. Didn’t really spray, but the 1.1m^2 puddle he made under himself is still worthy of a medal.
• Upholstery Stripping – Rip as much fabric off the couch as you can in 20 seconds.
1. Gold – Patches the Calico. Ripped 1.3m^2 of fabric.
2. Silver – Fat Cat. Ripped .75m^2 of fabric. This may have been a fluke as he was trying to jump onto the couch, missed, then took the said volume of fabric with him as he fell.
3. Bronze – Rusty the Tabby. Gets an honour medal since this Cat’s house in furnished entirely in wicker. Valiant attempt though!
• Ape Escape – (aka: 100m dash!) An unexpected event which resulted after the Upholstery Stripping.
1. Gold – Rusty the Tabby. Outmanoeuvred and escaped the Ape in 3.2 seconds.
2. Silver – Patches the Calico. Escaped in 4.7 seconds but did take a broom to the head.
3. Bronze – Fat Cat. Poor thing couldn’t get away fast enough. RIP!
• Power Napping – Out-Nap your opponents.
1. Gold – Fat Cat. I know for a fact he will now out-snooze the others now.
2. Silver – To Be Announced. The other Cats are still napping.
3. Bronze - Same deal.

There are other events coming, but the Power Napping event may take a few days.

Stay tuned!