Some silly Ape asks:

• “I noticed in a couple of your posts, you refer to some kind of ‘cat revolution’ which is about to take place.
  Can you give me more information on this please? It’s important!“

{… The author of the question arrives home and exits his car. Suddenly, a black SUV speeds up then squeals to a stop within inches of hitting him.

50 Cats wearing dark glasses jump out and force the Ape into the back of the vehicle, which then speeds off…}

‘Nuff said…

Finally! Another dumb question to answer.

Some silly Ape asks:

• "Dear gorgeous
  I read your blog for a few days now. Quite funny!

  One thing that I don’t understand is what the day numbers mean? You title your posts Day 1276. etc. What does this mean?"

{…Gorgeous plays another round of "Tip The Pug" with ScapeGoat (the dog) while he ponders the question…}

First off, you didn’t capitalize the first letter of my name. Names should always have the first letter capitalized. Especially mine!

Second, funny? I’m not sure what you mean by this. I simply talk about the world as it is.

Now, onto your primary question. "What do the day numbers mean?" I didn’t think this would be all that confusing, but I will clarify anyway.

It’s my age. Today, I’m 1277 days old. You Apes like to bundle the days up into weeks, months, and years. Cats have no need to do this. In Ape terms this would make me 3.4986301369863013698630136986301 years old. It’s much easier to say 1277 days, is it not?

Take a 30 year old female Ape for example. She would never use a large day number like 10,950 to describe her age. Hell, she’s even reluctant to admit to being 30 and will lie and say 29. This makes no sense to me. There’s not a whole lot of difference between being 10,585 and 10,950 days old, is there?

For me, it’s easier to remember past events too. For instance, on Day 1273, I was tossed outside for the day while the Apes had their Christmas dinner. This will always be Day 1273 to me. Not 3 years ago, or 10 years ago, etc.

No wonder you Apes have such a hard time keeping track of things. Lumping the days together into weeks, months, and years, instantly requires math to get your point across.

And let’s face it, some of you aren’t exactly the brightest variable in the algorithm, are you?

Some silly Ape asks:

• “Why?”

{…Gorgeous ponders the question while licking his butt, then shrugs…}

Why not?

The same silly Ape also asks:

• “…”

{…Gorgeous lets out a yelp…}

Yikes! Triple-Strength period! Run for your lives!

{…Gorgeous manages to type out the word “Midol” before hiding under the bed…}

Technorati Tags: cat,cats,humor,humour

You Apes sure are a curious bunch! It’s been less than a day since I added the “Ask Gorgeous” option to the site, and I already have my first question.

I am more than willing to skip a nap here and there to answer all your petty questions. So go ahead! You might learn something.

Some silly Ape asks:

• “since you mentioned this on your question page, what exactly IS the meaning of life? What’s it all about?”

{Gorgeous ponders the question while scratching in his litter box…}

You have actually asked two questions here. But that’s okay. I’ll just have to put off unrolling the toilet paper until tomorrow.

It never ceases to amaze me that you Apes spend your entire lives seeking an answer to The Meaning Of Life. The reason the answer eludes you is because you have traded off instinct for education. The solution is built into the core of every creature on the planet, but you Apes just don’t seem to feel it.

So, here it goes… Get a pencil and start the drum roll…
The meaning of life is as follows: Eat, Sleep, Procreate, Defecate. (For me, 3 out of 4 isn’t bad!)

It doesn’t get any simpler than that! I knew the answer to this moments after my birth. You Apes tend to complicate even the simplest things.

Now, as far as What’s It All About? It’s all about me! Did you not click the “About” button at the top of the page? It tells all!

Does anyone have a hard question?

Technorati Tags: cat,cats,humor,humour